If Only
If only you could look at me
And see that I'm not good enough for you.
If only you could realize,
I shouldn't be the reason you live your life the way you do.
If you could only see me,
For the liar that I am.
If you could truly realize,
This might have all just been a sham.
I wish that you weren't so set on us,
You and me.
I wish that you would comprehend,
It's possible we are not meant to be.
I wish that I could look at you,
And know you're all I'll ever see.
I wish that I could say 'I love you.'
And not feel guilty.
I wish that I was everything,
You truly do deserve.
I wish that I was good enough,
To still let us preserve.
I wish I didn't want you,
Feel like I need you everyday.
Depend on you, then look at him,
And let the butterflies give me away.
I wish I wasn't so selfish,
To always want you in my life.
I wish I truly knew,
If it was worth all of this strife.
If only I could simply just deicide.
If only my heart would stop playing head games with my mind.
If only I would've learned when I went through all of this before.
If only I knew what I want more.
I wish I knew how to tell you,
How much I hate and love that I can and do depend on you.
If only I could tell you,
Everything that I just wrote.
I guess I lied again,
When I told you I'd let you read all my poems and all my notes.
And see that I'm not good enough for you.
If only you could realize,
I shouldn't be the reason you live your life the way you do.
If you could only see me,
For the liar that I am.
If you could truly realize,
This might have all just been a sham.
I wish that you weren't so set on us,
You and me.
I wish that you would comprehend,
It's possible we are not meant to be.
I wish that I could look at you,
And know you're all I'll ever see.
I wish that I could say 'I love you.'
And not feel guilty.
I wish that I was everything,
You truly do deserve.
I wish that I was good enough,
To still let us preserve.
I wish I didn't want you,
Feel like I need you everyday.
Depend on you, then look at him,
And let the butterflies give me away.
I wish I wasn't so selfish,
To always want you in my life.
I wish I truly knew,
If it was worth all of this strife.
If only I could simply just deicide.
If only my heart would stop playing head games with my mind.
If only I would've learned when I went through all of this before.
If only I knew what I want more.
I wish I knew how to tell you,
How much I hate and love that I can and do depend on you.
If only I could tell you,
Everything that I just wrote.
I guess I lied again,
When I told you I'd let you read all my poems and all my notes.